If it's not Baroque, don't fix it.

It was that night. Poof. Epiphany. It took one simple sentence.

Of course, whenever I say something, it's "nagging," but if it comes from anyone else at all, it's constructive. What's up with that? Someone please explain why girlfriends can't get through to their significant others about fundamental issues, but anyone else can. I find that kind of backwards. If you care about your girlfriend, why not listen to what she has to say and take it to heart as much as, if not more than, what other people have to say? Either way, it happened, and I didn't exactly know what to make of it.

It's different. I know he needs time to be this new person. I know it's a whole reconstruction. That's why I felt terrible when I snapped. I never felt more like a cliche bitch. I hated that person, and I was her before I knew it.

Baby steps. I need them too. I'm not used to it, so when he slips, my mind automatically jumps to how he used to think. I don't believe his sincerity, because it was so rare to come by before. I think he reverts, so I again try to fix it. A new view is needed. Open minds on both parts.

But it's remarkable. It's like, he finally got it. He finally appreciates what he has, and put an honest effort into making it ideal. And I finally appreciate his true efforts.

I think I'm in love, but it makes me kinda nervous to say so.

The secret to women

Guys seem to complain about the how complicated women are. They seem to think that there's nothing you can do to suffice a woman. If you score well in one area, there's still another void to fill. There are many theories and/or myths of how to make a girl happy, but let me put forth my theory of men first. From my own observations and various outrageously objective accounts (from both males and females), men have a few primary interests. These are things that have been boiled down to the least common denominator; Sex, food, and video games (I'll include sports of equal importance with videogames). With that gently put, keep an open mind to my proposal. I understand it is the sheer nature of man to put emphasis on procreation and survival. It's an evolutionary trait. And I propose the third because it is also a primal need to keep the mind working, entertained, and excercised.

So what exactly do people think the wants of women are? Sometimes people say "women want men to buy them things." Relationships with women become something of a monetary investment, but we can bring that down to nature's evolution also. A ring isn't just a piece of ice on her left hand. It is more of a reassurance that the man has the financial stability to take care of her, the bearer of his children, as well as the said children.

That is the observation and the qualification, but this assertion can be viewed in different and simpler facets. When men say "buy them things," the mind goes to a dozen roses, jewelry, fancy dinners. That's cliche, unoriginal, and too often a copout. You can pick up her favorite ice cream on your way home for after dinner dessert and have a better effect than flowers on Valentines day. $2.50? That's it? She's not going to see any significance in that. Au contraire. Remembering her favorite ice cream, candy bar, etc., shows that you cared enough to listen and notice. The little things do matter. I know I've blogged about the need for 'little things' before.

Another observation is that women want gentlemen, but subconciously need abuse. This is inconvenient because they're such strong contradictions. Abuse is too harsh of a word. I shamelessly speak from experience, and I apologize to all the 'nice guys' out there. I know you too often get screwed over for the douchebag. Women want gentlemen, but also someone with balls and can take control. This again reiterates the inherent need of women to have a man who is supportive. I know that with the turn of time, women have become more empowered and independent, but if there's a man in her life, shouldn't he be the man?

Women don't want sex enough. Well that's just too bad. That is the holy grail that no one can seem to find. I'm sure that it's not a matter of enjoyment. It's just less hardwired into our nature as compared to men; a matter of testosterone. We have agendas other than men's basic 3. Well then what are your agendas? That is up to the woman, and everyone, including men, have their own aspirations, personalities, etc.

With all of the above, please consider the following.

I think most women can agree on 3 basics in a man; strong supporter, attentive to detail, and courteous. There it is spelled out. This is my own simple theory that again reduces things to the least common denominator, but I believe it encompasses most of the complaints that may arise in a relationship. By adhering to the 3, there can be a healthy exchange of wants. With courtesy, she can respect that you respect her refusal for sex. Being a strong supporter will most likely keep the relationship going on longer. With attention to detail, you can enjoy her expression of appreciation (in the form of sex, a good meal, whatever). So I guess that the secret to women is that there is no "secret to women" and there's nothing to "figure out." The secret to making a woman happy isn't in the woman as much as it is in the relationship. The need of woman is man, and man woman. Needs should be catered to each other.

I guess there are those rare finds, too. The gal that is frequently kinky, makes a good meal, and can trade Pokemon anytime. But there's no lie, men will eventually find something lacking in her after the initial chase or in the long run. Therefore, I can conclude that men can be more complicated and needy than we are.

I believe I blogged about that before also.